April Fools

Asmall gallery of some of the more unusual vehicles seen at Deming's annual "Smokin' Oldies" car show, because I suddenly ran out of time to write a clever April 1 post....

Easily the most unusual vehicle at the show.. and it wasn't even in the show!
 Honda GoldWing  powered trike.

Gotta love the coolant overflow receptacle!

Waiting for the intrusive wand ultrasound.

"Girl I'm just a Jeepster for your love"

Several visitors were fatally impaled on the fins.

Insert toilet seat joke here.

FOR SALE: The Hare-Brained Express (!)

Yes, it’s the legendary motor home that faithfully (with only a few hiccups) carried Shot On Site Photography from sea to shining sea for almost 6 years.  It will make someone an ideal short run dog hauler for field events and shows, while still perfectly capable of the occasional long haul.  Why pay to stay at an expensive hotel? 


              
Things that are new (or new-ish)  - the radiator ; the rear springs;  the tires (6); the alternator; the retractlable awning.
Things that are old, and/or don’t work, or may need work -  The leveling jacks. (parts are no longer available); The 5000W Onan generator will run, and produce power, but has a disturbing knock, which may be a piston rod.  Refrigerator door needs new hinge, but the fridge works great and has recently had the safety recall work performed, so it won’t set you on fire!   Much of the drawer hardware throughout needs replacing.. they’ve just worn out, or fallen out from lack of moisture.  Cabinet over sink needs connection to ceiling reinforced.
On the very last trip we attempted in late 2009, the distributor cap went wonky, which threw the engine out of time, and left us stranded outside of El Paso.  It has been repaired, but does need a tune up (spark plugs and wires were fouled, so it doesn’t run smoothly).
The chassis is a Chevrolet truck. Engine, a 454 cubic inch, with throttle body injection.
Direct inquiries to MargaretFairman@gmail.com, or Dan@shotonsite.us.

The Finest In Automotive Spy Photography

Several times over the past 25 years, I've been fortunate enough to be in  the right place at the right time to photograph upcoming automobile models on public roads, doing "real world testing".  Most often the vehicles are disguised, with outlandish extra body panels, or wild graphic paint schemes, designed to misdirect the viewer's eyes so as not to determine exactly what the shape of the car really is.  Other times, when they're closer to production, only the badging, and other identifying marks are stripped from the cars.


I first got lucky in Anchorage, Alaska of all places.  Engineers apparently experienced a stalling problem, and left what would later become the Subaru Impreza abandoned in a hotel parking lot, with the hood up.  I snapped away. I couldn't help it.  Those pictures ended up in AutoWeek Magazine.


Jump ahead several years, and I'm working as an independent representative for a firm which required me to visit a lot of backroads businesses.  I was in Livingston County, Michigan when a convoy of overly clad vehicles was leaving a rural gas station.  Again, I fired away, and again the images ended up in AutoWeek.  It was America's first look at the Oldsmobile Alero and Pontiac Grand Am.


Recently, I happened to capture images of the 2012 Audi A6 on nearby back roads.  These were brokered to several automotive online journals by the "Doyenne" of  automotive spy photography, whose name you would recognize instantly.


What follows, is the published account of my most recent discovery.  It was late at night, at a gas station in Abilene, Texas......

§    §    §    §    §    §    §    §    §    §    §    §    §    §   §

Our intrepid, tireless, ambitious, poverty-stricken, Instamatic®- toting, weasley, automotive paparazzi have been at it again.  Caught real world testing, without so much as a single fig leaf of disguise is Ford’s upcoming retro spectacular, the 2014 Edsel Redux!  (pronounced Ree-doo).

Word has been out there among the automotive cognoscenti for several months now, that this masterpiece of backward-thinking was in the works, but this is the first time it’s been captured on film, as it were, and we here at AutoLuddite were victorious in the bout of feverish bidding that ensued to be the first to present this image to the public.


Our sources in the industry tell us this fantastic retro-sled weighs in at an astonishing four-and-a-half tons, due in part to the extensive use of carbon fiber in the floor mats, and turn signal indicator.  Power to overcome massive amounts of inertia comes from the technologically advanced cast iron, straight 6 cylinder EcoBǖst, (pronounced boooost), engine, which produces upwards of 175 BHP when using 102 octane unleaded fuel.  Naught to 60 times are expected to be in the range of sometime before dark, therefore, no convertible model is expected to be produced.  Our sources tell us that an optional 3-speed manual transmission, mounted on the steering column (!), has never, ever been considered.

The designers have really outdone themselves in recalling the essence of the original, right down to the extremely wide white sidewall bias-ply tires, to the rust spots on the quarter panels.  One wonders why, with all of these styling cues resurrecting the marque’s illustrious past, the “toilet seat” was left off of the massive chrome grille?  Perhaps it will appear on a higher trim level model.  We can only hope and pray.


Unfortunately, prices are not expected to fall in line with those of 50+ years ago.  You can expect to pony up around $25,000 for a base model, to a staggering $55,000 for the super deluxe, although to be fair, that price does include your own personal dwarf mechanic in a satchel, so you will never have to worry about breakdowns, or even regularly scheduled maintenance.


The Edsel Redux will be produced in limited quantities, by Ford of Honduras, and for reasons known only to those at the very top of the Ford hierarchy, will only be sold through Kia dealerships.   We look forward to our first test drive!


- Peter S. Tingly,  AutoLuddite




....Y'know... I've been thinkin'... I might just could be wrong... about all of this.  Just sayin'.

Scanners! Dan's Hot Ride in the Mid Sixties.

The car, by the way, is a 1963 Chevrolet Impala, black, with a 327 cu. in. V8, and 4 barrel carb.

Four Wheel Fun.

We've had a few opportunities to try out the Mitsubishi on the hundreds of miles of jeep trails in our little corner of New Mexico. I told Margaret to bring the video camera, but we were stuck with the cell phone. Don't get seasick!

Some road, eh? Well, in the strictest sense of the word. We'll be spending more and more time driving..... slooooow.

A New Plaything Tool.

I had my eye on this little buggy ever since it first showed up on D & D Auto's lot back in October.  If you live here, you need at least one 4 X 4 runabout.  Not for snow or ice, but for the mud that covers the roads out in the valley, and for the rocky roads you have to negotiate up in the hills, especially if you're going to a start point for a hike and climb, or geocaching. (It's parked on a "road" in the above photo).  There's no shortage here of Jeeps, Sidekicks, Trackers, Broncos and Bronco II.  It may not get driven as much as the Escape or even the van, but when it goes out, it will be because it's needed.

Or just for fun.

Facts: 1987 Mitsubishi Montero Sport 4 x 4.  105,000 miles (!)  It will be getting more serious tires early next week.  It's red! :-)

The Life.

Yeah, because the Express broke down before we even hit El Paso, we missed the big lure coursing trial we were going to shoot this weekend.  I had to do this instead.  Damn.  (Sandia in blue)

DUI

The official recreational pastime of the State of New Mexico.

A New Slide Show.

Previously on these pages I presented my new, cool idea of fast digital captures, shot one-handed from a speeding vehicle. Having just completed another round trip from Deming to a New Mexico location further north (in this case, Mountainair) on I25, and other federal and state highways, I now have sufficient samples of this fun, new art form to load a new slide show to the blog.

Very little tweaking of the images have been done. Mostly the simple, subtle enhancements available from Google's Picasa program- straightening, adjusting contrast, cropping, etc.

Since there was snow on the Floridas yesterday, I think it's time to remove the "Spring/Summer" show from the sidebar. This new show will replace it shortly, and will be added to as we travel further afield. Hope you enjoy.

Photographic Art At 75 MPH.

I may have created a new photographic niche. Any good photographer can go off into the country, and painstakingly set up the perfect shot. But if you're traveling down an Interstate, in a hurry to get home, and don't want to stop to to capture the stunning images you're passing.. it's simple: roll down the window and, keeping one hand on the steering wheel, point the camera at the scene with your other. Fire away. Instant art at 75 miles per hour.

Why?

That's right.  Why be content to get stuck where a mere little Kubota tractor can help you effect your escape from the muddy clutches, when there's a really deep boggy situation just waiting down the road, and woe unto you if you venture a little too right or left of the hard pack.

And that's the situation we found ourselves in last Thursday.  First we tried the tractor again.  Not this time, sport.  The more it pulled the further right the Express wanted to slide until it was tipping precariously in the really soft stuff, and leaning on the chain link!  This also blocked the normal exit we call a "door".  Out the window, take the ladder off the back so Margaret could exit gracefully and head to Hugo to upload the II pictures.

Meanwhile, I called our road service provider, because we were going to need something bigger; much bigger.. than the neighbor's Massey-Ferguson.  We were going to need the big boy, because how do you extract a 20,000 pound behemoth that's heeled over against a fence, a foot and a half in the soggy earth... without damaging the awning, and the coach finish?  Watch and learn, kids... watch and learn:

These ol' boys were really good!

Hyundai.

OK, I've been meaning to write something about this since I first saw these dumbass Hyundai commercials. You've seen them... they were a sober interlude in all the great, and funny Super Bowl commercials... They come off sounding so noble... "hey, if you lose your income we'll let you return your Hyundai". This is new?

I don't think so...


Yeah. It's called repossession.

Watch This Space.

Coming soon...
World's biggest bumper sticker! Time to change out the Express' rear window graphic. Photos to follow.

And if you're partial to normal size bumper stickers, remember we carry with us a stock of all sighthound (and more) breeds to all the trials we attend. (Pharaoh Hounds currently SOLD OUT.. Thanks guys!!).

Also, bumper stickers and more are available at our Cafe Press storefront!

)(@$&*) Hillbillies!

Of course all the southern Republican Senators voted against helping the middle class autoworkers. They were following orders from their constituents masters in Japan, Germany, and Korea.

And you thought our fathers and grandfathers won that war...

Are You Sitting Down?

Before I forget, we need to return to the story of that clunker Pontiac Tempest I blogged about a couple of weeks ago. The question I posted was, "What would you pay for it?" To review, it's 45 years old, and has no motor or transmission.

We had a pretty spirited conversation going on in the comments section (check it out if you weren't one of the commenters), so we know what you'd pay. What did someone actually pay last month? Well, before I let you know, I should point out that at one time that clunker looked very much like the car above. In fact, after reading the history of these vehicles, there's a 99% chance I saw that very same clunker running at the Detroit Dragway back in the early 60's!

OK.. you've read the history. Sit down. Here's the real deal. It's fun to read through the posts where the seller kept adding information as he began to realize just what he had on his hands for sale. Moral?: If it's rare, it's worth it, no matter what it looks like. Now wasn't that fun?

A Real "Deal".

Time for one of those fun quizzes we like to do around here... this one is automotive related.

Question: What would you pay for this 1963 Pontiac Tempest? Oh.. it has no motor. Or much of anything else... except dents and rust. Oh.. the windshield is plexiglass. (Hmmm. That must be a hint.)

Send your guesses to comments section below. (Googlers are cheaters!) I'll post the answer in a day or two.

Traveling Light.

Last Friday morning I packed up my cameras, a laptop, a suitcase, and one male Galgo Español into the Escape. Leaving the Express, (not to mention Margaret, four dogs and a cat), in Boswell, Oklahoma, I headed West. My destination: The ASFA Region 3 Invitational in Stanley, NM.

It's been a long, long time since I've made a 650 mile road trip in a car. I've forgotten how hard it is, which is to say I re-learned to respect those of you who travel great distances to events every week, or even every other month.

I had to get used to using public restrooms! And filling the tank at the auto pumps at the Flying J's instead of the RV lanes. (There was good news at the pumps, however. Flying J in Wichita Falls, TX: $1.93/gal for unleaded- $1.85 with my frequent fueler discount!). Not traveling with all of our possessions meant I had to constantly worry that I hadn't left anything important behind. In fact, I did. We didn't load our dwindling inventory of "I'd Rather Be Coursing" bumper stickers. A minor inconvenience, I guess, in the grand scheme of things. Would have been worse to forget the camera, or memory cards.

I arrived exhausted, about 10 hours later. The last 250 miles, or so, being much faster than the first 400, as I finally got on the Interstate in Amarillo. I hate slowing down for all the little burghs in Texas. Other states have found a cure for this: they're called bypasses.

My hosts, Steve and Joan Garth, (whom you may remember from our Summer trip to California), were waiting with wine, and a comfort-food dinner. I tried to keep up with the conversation and be sociable, while I attempted to shake off the sensation 2 hours after I parked in their driveway, that I was still sitting in a speeding vehicle. At 7:30 I said I needed to put my head on a pillow for a minute. My minute ended when I got up the next morning to go to the trials.

What a great location for a lure coursing trial. I'll have pictures in a coming post. Not big trial... most of them in the West are smaller than what we normally see in the East, but the people are friendly, the dogs run as well as they do everywhere, and the lunches were good. Not to spoil the suspense, but a trial here leaves one hard pressed to separate reality from fantasy. As you'll see.

Saturday night, a large group had dinner at The Buford Steak House in Moriarty, NM. My filet was good, but I think many in attendance would have been more impressed had they not been out of many of the things they would have wanted: Merlot, Cobblers of any kind, certain side dishes, etc. Kind of inexcusable for early on a Saturday night. But like I said.. the meat was as advertised.

Sunday was the Regional Invitational trial. A little different from what we're used to, as Saturdays are the normal day in other ASFA regions. But their reasoning goes back to the small trial thing. Having a regular all-breed trial on Saturday gives dogs who don't get out much a chance to get the point they need to run in the Regional.

I should mention the weather. Fabulous. Saturday was sunny and 70's, and very, very dry. Sunday started the same, with some clouds coming in around lunchtime, followed by an increase in wind, and finally, as the trial was ending, a precipitous drop in temperature. We got out of there just in time. Many of the Coloradans left in somewhat of a panic as there was bad weather threatening the Raton Pass between New Mexico and Colorado.

It was raining Sunday night as I went to bed, but rain was forecast for Monday. "light showers... 30%" is what the Weather Channel said. No problem. I'd brought my rain gear. Sandia and I were going to chase some Jackrabbits today, along with a couple of his litter mates, so it was rather disappointing to look out the window this morning and see.... white. Blowing... white. Whiskey.. Tango... Foxtrot? As the locals are fond of saying to visitors in times like this: "Welcome to the East Mountains".

Snow on South Mountain

The snow wasn't going to stay on the ground for very long, but the wind wasn't going to let up either, and that effectively scotched our planned hunt. Dogs can get disoriented and lost when running in the desert in high winds. The forecast for tomorrow looks much improved, so we're going to hit the desert before I head back East to Oklahoma. I owe Sandia that much for being cooped up in the car, and in a house full of strange dogs and people all weekend.

Besides, we need to get back and keep Margaret in line. When I called her this morning, she was in Paris!!!

...

...

...

Texas. ;)

Moron Report.

We needed to go out on some errands today. Simple stuff, like some plumbing supplies for the ongoing toilet project- don't ask- , a trip to the post office, Sam's Club. Travelling West on Michigan Ave in Jackson we came upon gas station after gas station with long lines of idling vehicles.. burning untold numbers of barrels of fuel while waiting to (wait for it)... fuel up. I asked, "what do they know that we don't?".

As we finished up we heard reports of "$5/gal gas" on the "east side". Well, when we got to "the east side", it was still $3.89. Just like it was when we began our errands. Ridiculously long lines, though. Fortunately, we're not going anywhere this weekend, so we just drove by and laughed at the morons. Must be some way to pin this on Republicans.

Oh by the Way...

Lest you think we're still stuck in Needles, rest assured that we got away before the really hot weather hit ;0)

We arrived in time for the Deerhound AKC trial, and have been hard at work all week long. We'll try and get some details up when we get a chance to rest. Good eats abound!

Meanwhile, male readers should check out this interesting archery post on Patrick the Terrierman's blog...

Stuck in Flagstaff, Mile 1852.

I "knocked on wood" goddammit! You all read it here. So why, some sixty miles or so after our stop at the Jackrabbit Trading Post, did the engine suddenly lose power?

We had to pull off on the shoulder, where it finally died. We waited a couple of minutes, and on the second attempt it started right up. It was flooding for some reason. Back on the highway, we made it another 10 miles before it did it again.

We called our road service and got the phone number for a service center in Flagstaff. We had two more "episodes" before we finally made it to the Flagstaff RV Service Center.

The problem: It was a Friday afternoon, they closed at 5:30, there were 3 rigs in front of us... and they're not open Saturday. About 5:30 they at least got in to check the fuel pressure- good. Problem is not yet another fuel pump. Filter was clear, no blockages. Code reader showed a couple of sensors having problems that could conceivably be sucking the power down. All that pollution equipment that wasn't in vehicles when I was a kid!

Time was up. We found "Black Bart's RV Park, Steakhouse, Music Hall with Singing Waiters". Holy Cow! We didn't eat there, as the menu was way overpriced, and the parking lot was packed to the rafters, so to speak. Instead, we found yet another great Mexican restaurant... Salsa Brava. It was a "pork night". I had the Adovada Combo, and Margaret had the Carnitas Combo. It was good, good, good! The pineapple-habanero salsa was delicious, but not nearly as hot as advertised. My only disappointment of the night.

Since we're stuck here for the weekend, and going to miss the small Scottish Deerhound LGRA (8 entries) on Monday morning, we decided to "make lemonade". Today we're going to Sedona... gonna get our auras and chi adjusted to some new age brain-mush music or something. Or maybe we'll just go see the Red Rocks. Stand by.