The Buckeyes' Summer of Schadenfreude.

Click to animate.



Starring ~ Terrell Pryor as Hogan "Tats" Hero

               OSU Prez  E. Gordon Gee as Klink, the Bell Captain Colonel

               

Disgraced former OSU coach, Jim Tressell as Sgt. I. C. Nutting-Schultz.

"LSUfreek" appears regularly in the college football blog, Every Day Should Be Saturday .  Follow him on Twitter.

Buy lots of popcorn.. it's going to be a long, fun Summer!

Hacks.

"20+ year career. 500 drug controls worldwide, in and out of competition. Never a failed test. I rest my case." - Lance Armstrong tweet

Remember back in the 80's, when 60 Minutes did their hatchet job on Audi, claiming the cars took off by themselves, even though the drivers were standing on the brakes? And then, when it was shown that while the drivers thought they were standing on the brakes, they were actually standing on the accelerator, which is why they drove into storefronts, and rivers, etc.? And this was long before today's "sophisticated" electronics which make Toyotas really take off by themselves? And when presented with the actual facts, that due to a slight design flaw the brake and accelerator pedals were a little too close together for big American feet, they just ho-hummed and moved on to the next ambush victim without so much as a mumbled "sorry" to Audi?

Yeah. That 60 Minutes. They're going to do it again this Sunday. I'll miss it, because I haven't watched it in over 25 years. See if you can't miss it, too. And I hope a million cancer survivors march on CBS headquarters in protest.

Persistence Hunting

The pronghorn. The fastest mammal in North America.. the second fastest animal in the world, capable of running 55mph for extended periods.

In another part of the state of New Mexico, hundreds of miles from where I'm sitting, human beings tried to run a pronghorn down, using only their lung capacity, their legs, and their brainpower.  What the hell are they up to?

"The pronghorn is the second-fastest animal on earth, while the men are merely elite marathon runners who are trying to verify a theory about human evolution. Some scientists believe that our ancestors evolved into endurance athletes in order to hunt quad­rupeds by running them to exhaustion. If the theory holds up, the antelope I'm watching will eventually tire and the men will catch it. Then they'll have to decide whether to kill it for food or let it go."

I'm not sure whether or not I can buy into that theory, but it's really tantalizing to picture it.  Read the whole article to find out how these world class marathoners fared against our New Mexico Pronghorn.

This, of course, is not the only animal that is run down by humans.  There are numerous, incredibly fast and agile football players in college and pro ranks, including the University of Michigan who hale from a poor, rural location in Florida called Pahokee.  They  hone their skills like this..



Cottontails and "muck rabbits" (whatever they are)are one thing. Our blacktail jackrabbits are another thing altogether. Nobody is going to catch one on foot. That's why we use another method that's nearly as old as persistance hunting-

25th Annual SRAM Tour of the Gila

Went out to shoot Stage 2 yesterday, on Hwy 152. Different location than last year, because I wanted to get some images at the feed stations. These are in no particular order, and include both Pro Mens and Womens races, and the other classifications as well. And candids. Always candids. You can click on the slide show to see larger versions at the Picase Web Albums page.

One Win Away!

The Michigan Wolverine men's ice hockey team is one win away from their tenth NCAA Division 1 Championship! (Yes that's a record, as is the fact that this is their 21st consecutive year making the tournament).

Last night, behind the tallest 5'6" goalie in The Universe, they put the clamps on the Fighting Sioux of the University of North Dakota, easily the best team remaining in the tournament. They had a 36 goal scorer! Nobody in college hockey scores 36 goals! Not often, anyway. Last night he was shut out, along with the rest of his teammates, 2-0. And when Michigan scored the empty net goal to ice the victory, it was all too much for this hapless Sioux fan-




You wouldn't think there would be much flexibility in those heavily padded hockey gloves, but Louie Caporusso does a fine job of returning the sentiment!

Michigan plays University of Minnesota-Duluth tomorrow evening for the championship. On ESPN.

UPDATE 4/10/11: Alas...  Good run for a bunch of overachievers, though, especially Little Man Hunwick.

The Lost "Sparky" Video, Found.

Last year when former Detroit Tigers manager, Sparky Anderson passed away, I posted a memorial and a video clip of my favorite "Sparky moment".  As I said then, the video wasn't the version that I knew existed, but was unable to find.  Thanks to the fine folks at the Down With Detroit Facebook page I can now share this great Detroit moment with everyone..

RIP Sparky Gibby vs Goose Game 5 1984
- Watch more Videos at Vodpod.

It's very clear that Sparky wanted everyone within the sound of his voice to know, "He didn't wanta walk him". And I suppose we should offer our thanks to Hall of Fame pitcher, "Goose" Gossage, for not doing what his manager wanted him to do... walk Kirk Gibson.

The Most Awesome Set-up Video Comes From...

The University of Alaska - Fairbanks "Nanooks" hockey team...



Who knew?

Gonna Choke!

 This must be a joke!

OMG, No!  It's Hoke!

U of M has completed its metamorphosis into Notre Dame.  I'm pretty sure the Oregon Ducks or the TCU Horned Frogs will welcome me, provisionally at least, as a fan, while the Wolverines wander in the wilderness for the next dozen years or so.*

If I don't have a stroke.

OBTW.. you can say goodbye to #16.  Here's the new coach on the spread offense:

"When asked recently about the influence of Oregon’s offense, Hoke subtly revealed his disdain for the tactical shift Michigan experienced under Rodriguez. He is convinced that modern spread option offenses can be counterproductive to the core values of smashmouth football and are, therefore, to be avoided. 

  

“Right, wrong or indifferent, when you’re zone blocking all the time -- when you’re playing basketball on grass -- you practice against that all spring, you practice against it all fall and then you’re going to play a two-back team that wants to knock you off the football,” Hoke said. “I don’t think you’re prepared. 

  

“I think there’s a toughness level (required in college football). I still believe you win with defense. That’s been beaten into my head a long time, but I really believe that. The toughness of your team has to be the offensive front and your defensive front.” 

Whoop-dee-doo! Our own version of the Neanderthal in Madison.










* And, of course, I'll be a fan of wherever Rich Rodriguez ends up. And you can take that to the bank.

The Stuff that Scares the Bejeezus Out of Dem Baton Rouge Coonasses.

UPDATE: But wait, there's more!

I Was Wrong A Lot In 2007

Oh, was I ever.

Last three years not exactly as I envisioned them.

UPDATE:  Just so you know how positively nuts it can get around a big time athletic factory in the throes of a coaching search... the denizens of the interwebz are tracking private planes all over the country and creating scenarios from whole cloth.  Crazy!

Hockey! Everything Else is Just..... Sports.

(Leon Halip/Getty Images)

That was the scene in Ann Arbor this afternoon, as a Guinness World Record Breaking crowd watched the University of Michigan hockey team shut out arch rival Michigan State 5-0 in "The Big Chill At The Big House". Michigan has led the nation in attendance at football games for most of the last 4 decades, but football has never hosted a crowd this big: 113,411!

The increase over the previous Guinness record hockey crowd could hardly be classified as incremental. The previous record? 77,803 last Spring, in Germany. For a little icing (no pun intended) on the cake, this was also the largest crowd to ever watch any NCAA sporting event.

Adding to the fun, the ceremonial puck drop before the game was performed by Michigan Alumnus, Lawrence Kasden. But that only seems appropriate, doesn't it?

And, as if that wasn't enough cool hockey for one day? NHL Network is broadcasting Hockey Night In Canada... in 3D... Canadians v. Maple Leafs! Does it get any better than this for a hockey fan?

George "Sparky" Anderson, 1934-2010

Detroit, never short of colorful characters in the sports world, is mourning the loss of one of the most colorful. Sparky managed the 1984 Tigers to a Major League record 35-5 start and never looked back, winning the World Series against the Padres that Fall. They didn't win another Series during Sparky's tenure, but they were always competitive. He also skippered Cincinnati's "Big Red Machine" to a World Series victory in the 70's.

My favorite Sparky moment came in Game 5 of that same 1984 World Series. Goose Gossage is pitching in relief, and the Tigers' Kirk Gibson is at the plate. The San Diego manager goes to the mound.. he wants Gossage to intentionally walk Gibson. Sparky yells to Gibson incredulously,

"[Gossage] doesn't respect you! He thinks you can't hit him! He don't want to to walk you!"

(NOTE: video of this exchange exists; I've seen it a million times, but I'm damned if I can find it anywhere online.. so there's this):

Gibby looked into the upper deck in right field, turned to Anderson, held up all 10 fingers on his hands and said, "Ten bucks, I'm taking him out!"

That's how a great manager challenges a great player..... to be greater.

RIP, Sparky

(Image, Detroit News archives)

Misery Loves Company Dept.

So... you may be asking: What does Dan do to take his mind off the current bleak and devastated political landscape? What is his... diversion?

Glad you asked! Every week, I turn to SB Nation and read Brian Cook's This Week in Schadenfreude.. a collection of hand-wringing, sad, and pathetic posts gleaned from the discussion boards of colleges and universities across the nation following yet another week

end of their schools losing inexplicably to "that terrible team from......." name your poison. It's always good for a laugh at the expense, especially, of Ohio State,

say, or Michigan State, or Notre Dame. Mixed with Brian's witty, and barbed comments, it's normally an entertaining way to forget about the serious side of life, and the dangers of Republicans.

Alas, there's no solace to be had even here, this week, because Brian leads with the sad plight of the Wolverines football team in the throes of three straight losses.

I don't know where to turn...

Novel Idea, This "WifeDay"..

My. . . . . Our. . . life is not this messed up .

(A great parody of MGoBlog.Com's weekly game previews)

Ageless.

Happy 70th, Red Berenson.


"I don't have that feeling that I'm hanging on or 'I better enjoy this because it's going to be my last day'. I think I have an appreciation for what's happened here, but I'm really not looking back and I'm not looking that far ahead. I'm just worried about Notre Dame."


Only two other players in the history of the National Hockey League accomplished what Red did as a member of the St Louis Blues, and only Red did it on the road.


I remember watching his college career at Michigan in the early Sixties.  A true "Legend" in every sense of the word.

It Was 40 Years Ago This Weekend.

What would it hurt to repeat a little history, really.

"The Bird" 1954-2009

All through its history, there has never been a shortage of characters in baseball.  In 1976, there was no bigger character than the Detroit Tigers Mark "the Bird" Fidrych.

It was quite a jolt watching the local news tonight and hearing that Fidrych was found dead under his dump truck in Massachusetts today.

In 1976 I was living in Saginaw, MI. The local and national media was all abuzz about this eccentric, but amazingly talented pitcher who was starring for the Tigers.   Several of us with the day off, decided to drive the hundred miles south to see Fidrych pitch.  We got there, but the game was rained out.  We spent the next several hours drinking beer at the legendary Lindell AC bar.  So, while we missed seeing history on the mound, we did spend some time in a historic bar before schlepping back to Saginaw.

R.I.P.  Bird and the bar.

The Year Was 1980....

Our first will be Deming's 30th!

Can't wait.

Death of a Real Hockey Mom.

Every hockey fan knows that, with all due respect to Wayne Gretzky, Gordie Howe is "Mr. Hockey".  And if Gordie, (the only player to play on a professional level in 5 different decades), is Mr. Hockey, his wife, Colleen is "Mrs. Hockey".

Colleen Howe died today following a long battle with Pick's disease.  Not content to be just a wife of a hockey player, Colleen threw herself into the business of her husband's sport, in many cases helping negotiate his contracts.  There's a reason the word "formidable" shows up in this Detroit Free Press article and this piece on nhl.com reporting her passing. 

Colleen Howe was far from a typical 1950s stay-at-home mom. She took a proactive role in her husband's career and burgeoning legend. She managed his business interests, in the process becoming the first female sports agent. It was Colleen who put together the deal that allowed Gordie, at age 45 and two seasons after his NHL retirement, to join sons Mark and Marty with the Houston Aeros of the World Hockey Association.

"She fought as diligently as any agent I've ever worked with, in sports or Hollywood," Howard Baldwin said in a 2002 Sports Illustrated story. Baldwin was president of the WHA's New England Whalers when Colleen negotiated the move of Gordie, Marty and Mark to that team from the Houston Aeros in 1977. 

Fiercely protective of her husband's interests, she had his name trademarked, as well as the titles "Mr. Hockey" and "Mrs. Hockey." Over the years she was pilloried for being intrusive, but she ignored all the criticism.

"She got angry at the walls that were built up," daughter Cathy said in the 2002 SI story. "But she said, 'Well, I'll just pull 'em down!'"

~~~~~

In a book published by the Red Wings in 2007 to honor Gordie, he wrote a dedication to his wife: "While I received the applause, you stood behind me and cheered the loudest. While I focused on improving my game, you made sure the bills were getting paid. While I was on the overnight trains and planes from city to city, you were tucking in the kids and teaching them to pray for their daddy.

"You have been my biggest fan. My agent. My dietician. My counselor. And even now as you battle for your life, you are my inspiration, my strength, and the love of my life."

Read it all and see why a certain, soon to be a footnote, former Republican Vice Presidential candidate really cheapened the term "Hockey Mom".

Nuthin' Lahk Dirt Track Racin'!

From the NOTRA meet in Mountainair this past weekend.  Dust a-plenty, mixed with dried sheep poop!