April Fools

Asmall gallery of some of the more unusual vehicles seen at Deming's annual "Smokin' Oldies" car show, because I suddenly ran out of time to write a clever April 1 post....

Easily the most unusual vehicle at the show.. and it wasn't even in the show!
 Honda GoldWing  powered trike.

Gotta love the coolant overflow receptacle!

Waiting for the intrusive wand ultrasound.

"Girl I'm just a Jeepster for your love"

Several visitors were fatally impaled on the fins.

Insert toilet seat joke here.

The Finest In Automotive Spy Photography

Several times over the past 25 years, I've been fortunate enough to be in  the right place at the right time to photograph upcoming automobile models on public roads, doing "real world testing".  Most often the vehicles are disguised, with outlandish extra body panels, or wild graphic paint schemes, designed to misdirect the viewer's eyes so as not to determine exactly what the shape of the car really is.  Other times, when they're closer to production, only the badging, and other identifying marks are stripped from the cars.


I first got lucky in Anchorage, Alaska of all places.  Engineers apparently experienced a stalling problem, and left what would later become the Subaru Impreza abandoned in a hotel parking lot, with the hood up.  I snapped away. I couldn't help it.  Those pictures ended up in AutoWeek Magazine.


Jump ahead several years, and I'm working as an independent representative for a firm which required me to visit a lot of backroads businesses.  I was in Livingston County, Michigan when a convoy of overly clad vehicles was leaving a rural gas station.  Again, I fired away, and again the images ended up in AutoWeek.  It was America's first look at the Oldsmobile Alero and Pontiac Grand Am.


Recently, I happened to capture images of the 2012 Audi A6 on nearby back roads.  These were brokered to several automotive online journals by the "Doyenne" of  automotive spy photography, whose name you would recognize instantly.


What follows, is the published account of my most recent discovery.  It was late at night, at a gas station in Abilene, Texas......

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Our intrepid, tireless, ambitious, poverty-stricken, Instamatic®- toting, weasley, automotive paparazzi have been at it again.  Caught real world testing, without so much as a single fig leaf of disguise is Ford’s upcoming retro spectacular, the 2014 Edsel Redux!  (pronounced Ree-doo).

Word has been out there among the automotive cognoscenti for several months now, that this masterpiece of backward-thinking was in the works, but this is the first time it’s been captured on film, as it were, and we here at AutoLuddite were victorious in the bout of feverish bidding that ensued to be the first to present this image to the public.


Our sources in the industry tell us this fantastic retro-sled weighs in at an astonishing four-and-a-half tons, due in part to the extensive use of carbon fiber in the floor mats, and turn signal indicator.  Power to overcome massive amounts of inertia comes from the technologically advanced cast iron, straight 6 cylinder EcoBǖst, (pronounced boooost), engine, which produces upwards of 175 BHP when using 102 octane unleaded fuel.  Naught to 60 times are expected to be in the range of sometime before dark, therefore, no convertible model is expected to be produced.  Our sources tell us that an optional 3-speed manual transmission, mounted on the steering column (!), has never, ever been considered.

The designers have really outdone themselves in recalling the essence of the original, right down to the extremely wide white sidewall bias-ply tires, to the rust spots on the quarter panels.  One wonders why, with all of these styling cues resurrecting the marque’s illustrious past, the “toilet seat” was left off of the massive chrome grille?  Perhaps it will appear on a higher trim level model.  We can only hope and pray.


Unfortunately, prices are not expected to fall in line with those of 50+ years ago.  You can expect to pony up around $25,000 for a base model, to a staggering $55,000 for the super deluxe, although to be fair, that price does include your own personal dwarf mechanic in a satchel, so you will never have to worry about breakdowns, or even regularly scheduled maintenance.


The Edsel Redux will be produced in limited quantities, by Ford of Honduras, and for reasons known only to those at the very top of the Ford hierarchy, will only be sold through Kia dealerships.   We look forward to our first test drive!


- Peter S. Tingly,  AutoLuddite




....Y'know... I've been thinkin'... I might just could be wrong... about all of this.  Just sayin'.

Going Decidedly Retro...

...but I need your help.

Going to Palomas, Mexico on Wednesday for a couple of reasons.  I have a dental appointment.  I'm also going to get some new glasses, and I'm going to be looking for something similar to what I wore in the 60's while in the Navy.

The image on the right shows the same horn rimmed glasses I wore in high school, and for the first couple of years in the Navy.

While serving at the Naval Hospital in Philadelphia and attending Neuropsychiatric Technician School, most of us opted for the gold, wire-rimmed "Hippie" glasses.  That's the image on the left.  Your guess is as good as mine, all these years later, as to why I have these two images in my collection.  What was I thinking?

Anyway, both of these styles are still available in some form or another.  I don't know which one to pick.  There will be no difference in price.  FWIW, Margaret says the wires in the picture are "too big" - whatever that means.  Also, for those who know me, my scalp is kept very close cropped these days.  Also, maybe I'm not quite as svelte as in these pictures.

So help me out.. I don't promise to listen to you, but which way would you go?  Gold or Black? Here's a poll:

Dan would look best in
	Gold, wire rimmed "Hippie" glasses
	Black, horn rimmed, "Buddy Holly" glasses
	Contact lenses
pollcode.com free polls

Oh yeah.  Third reason I'm going to Mexico: Need to pick up a litre of Gran Centenario Reposado.

Scanners! Harleys & Hooters

The title of this post alone should drive tons of traffic from repressed nations all around the globe, á la the Victoria's Secret post. Thank You Google.

This was taken ten or eleven years ago in Chelsea, MI. Some friends with a studio thought they had the biggest money making scam ever. The event was a charity motorcycle rally, and the studio was set up in a tent on the grounds, with models trucked in from a Detroit area Hooters. The bikers would ride into the studio on their hogs, have their pictures taken with the models, pay up and ride out. We would make thousands of dollars!

What we made was a lot of pictures of models on a loaner motorcycle when the attendance at the event was less than 10% of the anticipated total, and 2 people came through the tent.

I'm still happy with the results.

Scanners! Seger!

Hartford, CT. 1980. Went to this show with a friend from Michigan who once had a conversation with a bus in Ypsilanti. Long story. We were thirty-something "business types" who ended up standing on the seats in the Hartford Civic Center screaming for more. The friend dropped off the face of the earth several years ago, but Seger is still going strong.

This was scanned from the original Fujichrome slide, and modified using Picnik. If my memory is correct, it was shot with a Leica CL w/ 90mm Leitz tele-Elmarit. From about the 30th row. Center.

UPDATE 1/28/11: Am I prescient, or what?

Scanners! Boogie Chillen.

Live, at the 1974 Ann Arbor Blues and Jazz Festival... in exile, Mister. John. Lee. Hooker. The event was held hostage by the new Republican Ann Arbor City Council, and was moved to Windsor, Ontario. Yeah, Canada.

From the original black and white negative. Colorized and Posterized.

Scanners! Time to Embarrass the Kids Again.

..and give a little tutorial on Picnik in the process.

If I were to begin at the beginning, then we'll have to go all the way back to 1965, (or possibly 1964.. the memory's a little fuzzy), and you bring the first girl you ever loved to your backyard, where Dad has conveniently set up a pool. When that girl is in that fine turquoise bikini that she made with her own hands, you grab Dad's Argus 75 box camera, and pose the girlfriend all over the yard.

Fast forward to 2011, and you're still living the good life with that first girl you've ever loved, and you still have all those old 3½ x 3½ inch color prints from oh so long ago. And you've got a scanner to bring them into the 21st Century.

Enter Picnik, an ap that showed up last Summer some time on Google's Picasa. It's an online editing tool that has a free version, (which, being cheap, is the version I'm using... of course), and a pay version, which I've promised myself to check out. Eventually. It's loaded with most of the standard editing tools for exposure, sharpness, red eye removal, etc.) It also has a lot of creative stuff, some of which were applied to the image above.

So the first step in the process is to convert the original color file to a black and white file using Picasa, because I want to color the image myself. After sharpening and increasing contrast with Picasa, it's time to upload the image to Picnik. There, the image was colored using the paintbrush available with the Tint Option. Once it's colored, it's converted to what Picnik calls "Lomo-ish" appearance, which shifts the colors somewhat.. (making the skintones an otherworldly, John Boehnerish orange hue), and adding the "light leak" shadowing of the margins.  It also increases the contrast.

The last step is to use the "Museum Matte" option for a presentation appearance.  Then the image is saved back to the computer where, using Picasa again, I created the collage which appears above.

Scanners! Weather Ball Red....

The title of this post should be more than ample hint as to the location of this town setting from my college days in 1974. My feeling is that many, if not most of the buildings in this shot are long gone.

Scanners! Before the Scourge of Pantyhose!

More 1960's reality enhanced.

I'm running out of black and white prints of  Mar .... this model. Not to worry.

Scanners! Margaret. And Women Who Are Not Margaret.

I have a lot... a lot... of black and white images and negatives, and recently I've begun to manipulate them using the tools available on an editing website called Picknik. I may be on to something here, which I'll call selective coloring. It's easy, but mostly it's fun! I see no reason I couldn't also manipulate color images as well, once I've converted them to black and white. I can create my own reality. In fact, the Hooters model on the Harley, below, began as a color print.

A quick note on the image above. My memory is sharp! 45 years or so after I took that picture, I still nailed the correct color of the dress! Margaret confirmed it. Is that love, or what? And the cigarette? Everybody did it then. Don't judge.

The inset is the original black and white image, which was taken with an Argus 75 and (now defunct) 620 roll film. Also, off topic but interesting, is that the clothing Margaret is wearing in this and the previous Scanners! images, were made by her, and that includes the swimsuits. She was, and is, hell on a sewing machine! Now if I could only get her to move the buttons on all my trousers.

Following are more selectively colored images of women who are not Margaret. If I can build a big enough collection, maybe we'll work on prints or notecards.

Scanners! Vogue.

Living it up in high fashion Vogue-style in Millington, TN, around 1966. If my memory is correct, (and I know that it is), there was also Playboy, but alas, those are gone like so much dust in the wind, (and you wouldn't have seen them here, anyway). I still get that look, and it still drives me mad.

Scanners! I Think She Named It "Danny"

Polaroid. The digital camera of the 60's.

Scanners! Another Semi-Dressed Human.

The year is 1969. The place is a tropical paradise, many thousands of miles away. I'm still trying to figure out where I misplaced that body.

Scanners! Under-age Hotness.

Yeah, that's somebody's mama at 15. I'm pretty sure the statute of limitations has run out by now; besides, I have it on good authority, this model is old enough now. How could I not fall for that... ever?

I've been burning up the scanner of late, so watch this space for more images from 45 years ago.

George "Sparky" Anderson, 1934-2010

Detroit, never short of colorful characters in the sports world, is mourning the loss of one of the most colorful. Sparky managed the 1984 Tigers to a Major League record 35-5 start and never looked back, winning the World Series against the Padres that Fall. They didn't win another Series during Sparky's tenure, but they were always competitive. He also skippered Cincinnati's "Big Red Machine" to a World Series victory in the 70's.

My favorite Sparky moment came in Game 5 of that same 1984 World Series. Goose Gossage is pitching in relief, and the Tigers' Kirk Gibson is at the plate. The San Diego manager goes to the mound.. he wants Gossage to intentionally walk Gibson. Sparky yells to Gibson incredulously,

"[Gossage] doesn't respect you! He thinks you can't hit him! He don't want to to walk you!"

(NOTE: video of this exchange exists; I've seen it a million times, but I'm damned if I can find it anywhere online.. so there's this):

Gibby looked into the upper deck in right field, turned to Anderson, held up all 10 fingers on his hands and said, "Ten bucks, I'm taking him out!"

That's how a great manager challenges a great player..... to be greater.

RIP, Sparky

(Image, Detroit News archives)

Bubba's Story

A repost from 2007, (and one of my better efforts).  We had posted this picture of Bubba, and had a poll for people to guess his COO (Country of Origin):



The "Bubba Poll" is now closed. For those waiting breathlessly for the answer... It's Georgia. That's right, Georgia. And not the one over there in the old Soviet Union.. the one in the American South. Bubba is an
Appalachian Corn Hound;or rather he's descended from the Corn Hounds, which were first created in the North Georgia mountains at the turn of the last century by mountain men who needed sturdy guard animals to protect their "corn likker" stills. Borrowing heavily from the French Great Pyrenees, for size, American Pitbulls for tenacity, and an occasional greyhound for speed in pursuing the hated "Revenoors" out of the mountains, these ingenius mountain dwellers produced a hound whose only vice was a taste for fine French wines and cognacs. Alas, this was to lead to the ultimate demise of the breed, even though it guaranteed that they would stay out of the moonshine. Because of their expensive tastes, these poor hill folk were unable to afford to keep this handsome dog. Additionally, the Corn Hound was able to somehow maintain beautiful strong, white teeth throughout their lifespans, which led to poor self-esteem among the very people that created them.

The entire population was, therefore, shipped off to Texas during the Great Depression, where the somewhat-wealthy Sheep Barons were able employ them in their current capacity, as sheep guarding dogs. So that's Bubba's story.. so rare, you won't even find it in Wikipedia!

And not only that, but... what?
What's that?
What's today's date, you say?

Why.. It's April Fool's Day.

And Bubba's an Akbash. From Turkey.
Congratulations to all who got it right. Texas, Todd?? ;)

History Quiz.

Since we've been in a nostalgic frame of mind lately, this is a picture of the 1964 Ann Arbor (MI) High School debate team.

Why?

(Some of you know, and I know who you are, so if you answer, your comment won't be published until the quiz is over. If ever. Clues may be found in the labels.)

Of no particular connection to the quiz, but currently topical, the write-up accompanying the picture (which appears in the 1964 Omega, the high school's yearbook), recounts the teams win at the Flint Northern Invitational Debate Tournament, where the debate topic was: "Resolved that the federal government should provide essential medical care for all citizens at public expense."

Leelanau Mithrandir (Randir) 8/19/96 - 9/6/09

We put in almost a million miles together. He will be greatly missed. I'll try and put together a "celebration of Randir's life" slide show soon.

"The Bird" 1954-2009

All through its history, there has never been a shortage of characters in baseball.  In 1976, there was no bigger character than the Detroit Tigers Mark "the Bird" Fidrych.

It was quite a jolt watching the local news tonight and hearing that Fidrych was found dead under his dump truck in Massachusetts today.

In 1976 I was living in Saginaw, MI. The local and national media was all abuzz about this eccentric, but amazingly talented pitcher who was starring for the Tigers.   Several of us with the day off, decided to drive the hundred miles south to see Fidrych pitch.  We got there, but the game was rained out.  We spent the next several hours drinking beer at the legendary Lindell AC bar.  So, while we missed seeing history on the mound, we did spend some time in a historic bar before schlepping back to Saginaw.

R.I.P.  Bird and the bar.

Death of a Real Hockey Mom.

Every hockey fan knows that, with all due respect to Wayne Gretzky, Gordie Howe is "Mr. Hockey".  And if Gordie, (the only player to play on a professional level in 5 different decades), is Mr. Hockey, his wife, Colleen is "Mrs. Hockey".

Colleen Howe died today following a long battle with Pick's disease.  Not content to be just a wife of a hockey player, Colleen threw herself into the business of her husband's sport, in many cases helping negotiate his contracts.  There's a reason the word "formidable" shows up in this Detroit Free Press article and this piece on nhl.com reporting her passing. 

Colleen Howe was far from a typical 1950s stay-at-home mom. She took a proactive role in her husband's career and burgeoning legend. She managed his business interests, in the process becoming the first female sports agent. It was Colleen who put together the deal that allowed Gordie, at age 45 and two seasons after his NHL retirement, to join sons Mark and Marty with the Houston Aeros of the World Hockey Association.

"She fought as diligently as any agent I've ever worked with, in sports or Hollywood," Howard Baldwin said in a 2002 Sports Illustrated story. Baldwin was president of the WHA's New England Whalers when Colleen negotiated the move of Gordie, Marty and Mark to that team from the Houston Aeros in 1977. 

Fiercely protective of her husband's interests, she had his name trademarked, as well as the titles "Mr. Hockey" and "Mrs. Hockey." Over the years she was pilloried for being intrusive, but she ignored all the criticism.

"She got angry at the walls that were built up," daughter Cathy said in the 2002 SI story. "But she said, 'Well, I'll just pull 'em down!'"

~~~~~

In a book published by the Red Wings in 2007 to honor Gordie, he wrote a dedication to his wife: "While I received the applause, you stood behind me and cheered the loudest. While I focused on improving my game, you made sure the bills were getting paid. While I was on the overnight trains and planes from city to city, you were tucking in the kids and teaching them to pray for their daddy.

"You have been my biggest fan. My agent. My dietician. My counselor. And even now as you battle for your life, you are my inspiration, my strength, and the love of my life."

Read it all and see why a certain, soon to be a footnote, former Republican Vice Presidential candidate really cheapened the term "Hockey Mom".