Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Naked Lunch

..and breakfast ..and dinner ..and, ..and Mini Golf! And, of course, the 1st Annual TLR Art Fair, which is why we were here. Bad news first: The art fair was pretty bad- for us, anyway, and most of the rest of the artists and craftpeople as well, it seemed. Attendance on Saturday was good, as the resort was pretty full for the weekend. Mostly naked people from the resort, but also a few "civilians" from the surrounding area as well.

But it's not all bad news, of course... first, it didn't cost us anything to put our talents on display.. (we're talking our photos and jewelry and minipurses, here!), and the camping rate was an incredibly low, $10 a night for water and electric. Compare that to their regular rates, for non-members of around $55 a night, and we were going to jump at the chance to hang out, (no pun intended), at a place I've wanted to visit for a long time.

So, you're asking yourselves, what is it like at a "Naturist Resort", a nudist camp, if you will? If you've never been, (and I'm assuming most of you haven't), it's nothing like you would assume... assuming you even thought about it.
Well... people are... naked. All kinds of people. We saw,
normal people,

fat people,

skinny people,

really really fat people, (we saw Jaba the Hutt on a golf cart!),

really really skinny people, (concentration camp-skinny),

we saw white people, black people, asian people,

kids, (but not many),

old people,

really really old people,

We saw couples and singles,

straight people, and probably gay people, and, I suspect, a few "swingers", and
one guy with a.. um.. ring.

Pierced & tattooed people, and unmarked people.

We saw that gravity really works! Meaning we saw very little that was "perky" (but what there was, was perky indeed!)

We saw that size doesn't really matter. Whew!

And we saw that more men than women shave.. (and we're not talking faces or underarms here.)
That was a surprise to me.

We saw people in the lake, and sunning on the beach. And playing disk golf. And volleyball, shuffleboard, petanq.

And people in the indoor pool and spa, and the outdoor "conversation pool".

And people covered head to toe in mud from the mud pit. (That was fun!)

And golf carts.. lord, were there golf carts. The number one social activity seemed to be "cruising" in your golf cart... 1, 2, 3, 4 or more nekkid folk to a cart, and 6 carts (or more!) in a parade from one end of the resort to the other.. (but never out the gate).

And we saw naked women who weren't technically naked. A thing called a "wrap"; sheer, colorful, wispy, ...did I mention sheer?

We saw people in tents, people in pop-up campers, people in travel trailers and fifth-wheel trailers, and people in motor homes like ours, and bigger, aqnd newer. And people in permanent "Park Models" with decks, and landscaping, and two cart garages.

We saw naked people doing things that would give us pause- two come to mind: The guy building a deck. ("Careful with that circular saw, Harry!"), and a brave soul whacking weeds in his front yard with a gas string trimmer. 'Least he was wearing sensible shoes.

We saw that the staff wears clothes! (Oh, except for the General Manager/Owner.. who looks comfortable enough that he may have never worn clothes in his life.)

In other words, we saw a world very much like the one out here, where people wear clothes.

But you know what we didn't see? (besides tan lines)
Anybody we knew. And that's just as well, I guess.

I bet you'd like to see some pictures, wouldn't you? There's a problem:

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